I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
