jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You made out with two different species that night
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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