Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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