her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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