Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
