i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She's the barista slut.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
