i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
