I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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