Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
