hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
