I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
