dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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