so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
