First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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