I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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