I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
