She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
