Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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