You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
