Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
