I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
