They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
