do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
