No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize