I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
