I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Drake has all the answers
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My vagina is very pro this idea
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
