This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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