Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
