I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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