So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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