I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
