im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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