Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
