Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i came on her dog
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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