I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
