Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
