This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
