my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
