I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
