YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
