using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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