I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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