That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
