what if every blade of grass was a penis?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
