She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
