"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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