peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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