so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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