Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
