dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think my moral compass just broke
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