doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
