My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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