okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
