Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
