the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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