You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
