Me. At least after what I've been through.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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