Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Your cock deserves a montage
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
