a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
