i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
