I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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