I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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