weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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