in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
