So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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