I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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