i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
