I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
