The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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