I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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