Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
