I feel like abortions should bother me more
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
50% drunk capacity currently
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize