Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize