the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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